Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Step Parenting
Wow, what an undertaking! I am a step parent to a almost 18 year old daughter. I am finally seeing some love and respect coming my way. For any of you out there that have ever wondered if it would ever happen, let me tell you it will eventually. I guess there are times that it won't, I didn't think it ever would, but after much perserverance, love, and some headbutting, my work has paid off and it feels great. Honestly, you have feelings at times that are not so nice but you have to take those into persective and realize that there are other factors involved and not take everything that comes out of a teenagers mouth personally. They really can be horrible, I think this applies to all kids though. Adulthood is showing my step daughter some realizations and I think she finnaly sees me as the one who is here at all times no matter what to be her rock and support structure. That has got to sting a little when her own "real" parent is not stepping up to do what is needed and expected in the eyes of a young girl coming into her own. Happy to have spent the last ten years waging the uphill battle, with more battles to come I am sure.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think one of questions that children ask is, "Will they still love me if I..." I don't think this question necessarily a question that the child is consciously thinking about, but many of their actions can test the boundaries of a parent's love.
ReplyDeleteOn behalf of step-kids every where-we're sorry for being such shitheads and thank you for your patience. One day we will say thank you! Don't hold your breath or anything, it might take a while.
ReplyDeleteTerese,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on that one, I think I am being tested everyday. Will she freak out if I do this or push this button. I always try to remember my own childhood and the many boyfriends my mom had in and out and understand my stepdaughters feelings and why she does what she does. Sometimes though you want to pick them up by the scruff of their neck like a cat or dog and say No, No, bad. When that happens I have to smile and just remind her that I am here for her and I love her no matter what she has to say. That usually gets her quite put off and she doesn't know what to do or say. I laugh inside a little.
Zlata,
ReplyDeleteI loved your comments and won't hold my breath, although I have had to choke those words out myself to my ex-step-father. He has been more of a father to me than my own father so when I was in my 30's I got ahold of him and we spent some time together i did tell him I appreciated all he did for me and I was glad he was there in my life.
I think I have about 20 more years to wait to hear that one so I definetly won't start holding my breath yet.